Growing Up Star Wars

      Bantha Skull was recently added to the community section of the official Star Wars site.  First, I would like to publically thank my friend, Paul Harrison of Jedi Temple Archives, for his encouragement during this process.  Paul could have viewed Batha Skull as the “competition”, but from day one, he has treated us as community collaborators and has been a constant source of encouragement to do more and keep trying.  We hope it serves our readers well.  While, I’m singling out Paul by name, it should be noted that this collaborative attitude is the norm for the community, which is why we love it.  None of us own the love of Star Wars.  We can only hope to be honest custodians of it.

      And that love of Star Wars is what compels me to write today in what will assuredly be an overly sentimental and sappy entry.  If I could time travel back to tell my five year old self that something on which I collaborated would be included in an official Star Wars publication, I would have fainted.  The five year old me would think it would be the pinnacle of life’s achievement.  While the current version of myself has better perspective, the little boy in me still screamed “this is wicked awesome.”

I had the blessing of literally growing up with the Original Trilogy experiencing it as it evolved and developed.  While I was a tick too young to take in the 1977 debut of Star Wars, I did see the 1978 re-release in the theater.  I was not yet literate and I can distinctly remember my father reading the opening crawl to me in a respectful whisper as many other parents in the theater were doing.  When you’re five years old, you don’t fully grasp fictional story telling.  I went through my first viewing of Star Wars with the emotional investment that one would have with real world events.  I remember a sense of relief I felt when Red Leader’s torpedo impacted on the surface.  While he was disappointed for having missed the target, I was relieved that a good guy had finally inflicted some damage on the bad guys no matter how superficial.  He proved the Death Star was not invulnerable.  We might win this thing after all.  And the farm boy, through whom a generation would vicariously live, did.

By the time Empire rolled around, I was a bit wiser.  I understood movies and special effects and storytelling.  In this era, movies were shown at only one theater in the area and on only one screen.  This meant getting in might take a while.  My dad was my co-pilot through my Original Trilogy theater viewings.  Well in a literal sense, he was my pilot.  He invented a fictitious errand that would bring us close to the theater showing Empire.  A theater that has long since been torn down.  It was only when we parked in the garage across the street that I realized the ruse.  Unfortunately seeing the ticket line exit the theater and extend down the adjacent alley, I also realized it wasn’t going to happen.  My parents determined that the Star Wars phenomenon meant trying to catch a weekend viewing might be impossible for a while, and there was a hugely disappointed seven year old who needed consoling.  There was no better salve than combining Star Wars with missing school.  My parents decided to let me take a half day the following week so that my dad and I could attend a weekday matinee.

      When that day came, the wait seemed interminable.  I woke up like it was Christmas morning and the clock was determined not to move.  Before school, my mother cautioned me about wishing my life away to get to the “good stuff”.  She starting singing the opening lines of Simon & Garfunkle’s Feelin’ Groovy to me.  It’s amazing how indelible the Star Wars related memories are for some of us.  I remember telling my teacher about my early departure like I had won the lottery.  The plan worked to great success.  The one o’clock hour matinee was indeed accessible.  That naive outcome based emotional investment I felt with Star Wars was replaced by emotional investment in the characters for Empire.  Between shocking paternity, amputation and suspended animation, it felt like I was punched squarely in the gut.  A feeling I would live with for three years.  Despite this, it was an unbelievable experience and the off hours plan was still working.  There was no substantial line for the next showing.  A quick pay phone call to update the home front on our plans, and The Empire Strikes Back became the first of only two movies that I would watch back to back in the theater.

The three years of waiting to find out what would become of the heroes finally ended in May of 1983.  I still remember the coolness of the theater like it was yesterday.  I still remember the ushers trying to organize the sold out theater so that loved ones wouldn’t have to be separated.  This ended us in a less than ideal viewing position, but that hardly mattered.  The first act showed the tide was turning.  Han survived.  Luke was no longer scared and lacking confidence.  He stared down an entire enclave of gangsters and thugs and came out the other side.  Lucas has been condemned for making Jedi too upbeat and light, but that seven year old who was dealt a crushing blow three years earlier desperately needed this counter punch as a ten year old.  Even with that, I was still concerned that Luke, my childhood avatar into heroism, and Lando would surely not survive the Death Star attack.  With Vader redeemed and the group of heroes intact, it was a moment of theatrical euphoria that a lifetime of accumulated cynicism will never allow me to repeat. 

      Of course, soon after this epic culmination of a Star Wars childhood, a sad realization set in.  Star Wars wasn’t an entitlement with better than Olympic reliability.  As my pure childhood chapter closed, so did the Star Wars cinematic experience.  The proliferation of home video ensured that we could continue to experience Star Wars, but it was drastically scaled down both literally and metaphorically. 

      I’ve skipped the aspect about the Star Wars toys for now which is in some ways a bigger part of the story.  If I included that, this would have become so long that not even my mother would finish reading (Hi, mom).  And with that, it’s best to conclude.  Thank you to LucasFilm for including us in the community section of the official site.  You’ve made a five year old Star Wars fan very happy.